And it beings

My hope is that I will be able to set aside time at least once a week, but hopefully daily, for reflection on my semester as a student teacher.
Tomorrow is the first of two seminars required for the semester where I will learn about how to end my college career of six years and start my career as an educator. I'll learn about the PDP (professional development plan) which is now used in place of the credits teachers used to take to keep up their certification.
The PDP is a 4-5 year plan where I set a goal or two and then work on it and document that work and any progress until the fourth year. At that point I gather a committee to review my goal and progress reports. I'll have some say about who is on the committee, but I must choose from the predetermined list.
We will be instructed on portfolio 3 and have the opportunity to talk to principals about the interview process and what they look for on a resume. I will also find out who my supervising professor will be and meet with him/her for about 2 hours. There will be time for lunch and a couple of breaks. These seminars take the entire day.
I was talking to Nathan and Stephanie the other day about their past experiences with student teachers. They told me, "don't be scared. It's so obvious and so stupid for them to be scared." But I am scared. Not of the students necessarily, but of the critique from the professors. I hate the grade part of all this schooling. Like the possibility of a better grade is going to make my brain work better!
My first placement will be in a Learning Disabilities classroom with fifth and sixth graders. What are fifth and sixth graders supposed to be learning? I have never been placed in anything above the second grade! Hopefully my experience with my siblings, my children and my church callings with the youth will help out when it comes to disposition of fifth and sixth graders. This placement runs from Tuesday, January 26 until Thursday April1.
My second placement starts Monday April 5 and finishes Wednesday June 9. I will be in a general education classroom with fifth graders. Hopefully my experience with the students in my first placement will help with the experience with students in my second placement.
Two different schools. Two different districts. Less than 10 miles apart.
As of now, I don't really know how much homework (lesson planning) I will have. So I don't know what kind of schedule I will have as far as school, homework, and family time. And really I expect it to continually change as the semester goes along because as I take on more and more classroom responsibilities, I expect to have more and more homework. But I still in-vision being able to come home from "work" and fix dinner, spend time with the kids and go to bed at a decent hour. No more all nighters!
At the moment I am contemplating what to take to school for lunch for the next 16 weeks. I can't afford school lunch and I don't always have left overs that are conducive to a lunch bag. Sandwiches are going to get really boring.

Counting my blessings

It is now October 2009. Back in January, Paul petitioned the court for "a modification of maintenance" because of a "substantial change in circumstances." In other words, he doesn't think he should pay alimony because he lost the income from his second job.
I finally got the court orders today, "Now, Therefore, it is ordered that petitioner's motion is denied."
Becuase this is the decision of the de Novo hearing, meaning this is the second time we have been before the judge about this, it is final, end of story until I graduate/get a job. Graduation will hopefully be next May. (I won't really be finished until the public schools are finished in June because I will be student teaching.)
Paul's income from his primary job has increased since the divorce, and he is supporting one less child now than at the time of the divorce. When we were getting divorced I was not happy that the income from his second job nor any overtime from his primary job was "not relied upon when determining support and maintenance." Well, the judge used this information to determine that his circumstances haven't changed that much. "At the time of the divorce, the parties cosidered only the petitioner's D.o.J. income in calculating support and that continued to be the basis for revised support since. Paul's financial disclosure statement does not include income from his second job, only income from D.o.J. The settlement agreement which adopted the support and maintenance proposals were Paul's suggestions."
At the time of the final hearing I was not employed and was a full time student. This is still the case. Although Paul argues that I have time to work, the judge agrees with me that I am unavailable to work next semester because I will be student teaching. Paul also argued that I could rent the apartment for more money and not have Patrick living there for free. The judge didn't agree. "The rental income...is reasonable...it is reasonable that the ...parties' son...reside there rent free under the circumstances."
Paul also argued that I could start drawing money out of the retirement fund as of his 50th birthday-today, if I felt I needed money. "No information is provided to the court as to advantages /disadvantages in making withdrawls." Nothing definitive has been provided to the court to show tht the respondent is eligible to receive such benefits at this time and exactly in what amount. The judge believes Paul is speculating.
So, even though I felt it was not right that his overtime and second income was not included in the determination of support, and I had many sleepless nights, and cried many tears over this, it has proven to be a blessing. Thank you Heavenly Father.
Sometime our prayers are not answered in the way we want or at the time we want.

Just venting

"Just because the judge says it, doesn't make it so." Per the divorce, It was ordered that I would not be responsible for the $22000 worth of taxes owed on the money Paul earned in Iraq. The order of the court is that Paul is to pay that and I am not to be held responsible for any of it. When my 2007 tax return was taken/intercepted to pay the taxes "WE" owe on the money he earned in Iraq, I called the IRS to explain that I am not responsible for that lein. I was told that because we filed a joint return for 2006 and we live in a community property state, I am just as responsible as Paul is until it is paid off, and "just because a judge says it, doesn't mean it's so. A divorce court judge can not over rule federal tax laws." The only recorse I have is to take Paul to court for contempt of court to try to get my money back. It will continue like this, any refunds I am eligible for going to pay the taxes, until the debt is paid in full! It will take YEARS for me to pay that off. My blood is boiling.

A seizure recorded

Stuart had another seizure tonight around midnight. He spent the day doing all the normal stuff, watching TV, playing video games and hanging out. He came back from a friends after playing the usual 2 hours of video games, took a shower and then lied down on the front room floor. He knew it was coming because as he went from the bathroom to the front room he said, "here it comes." I remember hearing him say that a couple of times before it got quiet. By the time I got around the corner his body was contorted and he was seizing. It was more of a stiff muscle seizure than the convulsing kind although he did convulse a little. Hmm, maybe not. No, I don't think there was any convulsing this time. His eyes were shut, he was face down with his head resting on his left arm, which was stretched out straight. He lifted his head a few times like a new born baby who is learning to hold it's head up. Then he started the snorting, drooling, heavy-rapid breathing. At this point his eyes were open but he wasn't responsive. I started wiping the sweat from his face and noticed a slight flintch when I touched him with the towel. This response got more and more pronounced the more he came out of this part of the seizure. He tried to get up off the floor in this semi-conscious state but his muscles were so taxed by this point that he fell back down to the floor. Then Stuart tried to get up by rolling over but only got as far as rolling to the side of his stomach before he seemed to loose consciousness again and he'd fall back down. At some point he was able to sit up, but was still only semi-conscious because he wasn't answering any questions, he was glassy eyed, and still snorting with the rapid breathing thing. He bit his tongue this time hard enough to make it bleed. Not a lot of blood but he won't be eating spicy foods for a few days. As he was sitting on the floor in his under ware, I draped a towel over his lap to cover his private parts. He kept picking up the towel and playing with it like he might be trying to cover himself like with a blanket, but the towel wasn't big enough, so he was confused. Maybe thinking, "what is wrong with this blanket?" Finally he started to answer questions, but he was also falling asleep sitting up. So I decided it might be safe to have him go downstairs to bed. NOT. My renter and i got him standing up, and it seemed like Stuart decided to sit in the chair, so we both let go of Stuart to move the headphones on the seat cushion. When we let go Stuart lost balance and control and ended up stumbling to the other side of the room and running into the table where he knocked the pictures to the floor. We tried to catch Stuart before he got to the table but we were too late, all we could do was guide him back to the chair, like you might help a drunk walk. He made it to the chair where he collapsed because his muscles are too weak to support him, and slept for the next 20 minutes still breathing heavy and rapid. Once in a while he would open his eyes, rub his face (it goes kind of numb when he bits his tongue) and go back to sleep.
After he woke up, or came out of it/came to, he decided to go to bed. At this point he was able to walk on his own and made it safely down the stairs. He repeats saying things like it's something important that he shouldn't forget. He has asked a couple of times in the past hour, "what happened?" or "was Andrew here?" (my renter was here to help) His muscles are starting to get very sore now. His tongue is swelling. I can tell because his speech is different, like he is trying to talk through his teeth with his mouth full.
Another six months before he can get his drivers license.
I wasn't as scared this time as I have been in the past. My biggest concern is that point when he is mobile but still only semi-conscious, when he headed for the chair but ended up on the other side of the room running into the table. During this point of the seizures, he has gotten up and headed for the highway, tripped over the curb while he was walking into the church, and almost hit an emergency person who was "2 inches from my face." Oh ya, and walked out of the house and down the block in his underware.
He'll be sore for about a week, be disappointed that he can't get his drivers license yet, and be more vigilant about taking his meds.

Look what the cat drug in

I got up this morning and found a bird in my livingroom. It kept running into the window and the mirror. While I was trying to get the frozen window open, it flew to the front door and kept running into it. I was finally able to open the front door and coax it to fly toward it. By bird. I checked the house becuase I was sure one of the kids had left a door open. But there was nothing open. So there must be a hole somewhere big enough for a bird to fly through! No wonder it is so cold in this house!

Did anyone see what I saw

I was watching Elder Worthlin's funeral Saturday, while I waited for an email from my professor, and saw a familiar face in the choir! Right there in the front row, the first man next to the women is a kid, now a man, I went to school with. I had to get out my year books but I found him. Depending on the year book his name is either David or Lyle Allen. MTC people are real people!!! I saw him again last night at the First Presidency's Devotional, front row, fourth man from the women,
Then at the end of the funeral, when the First Presidency and 11 of the Quorum of the 12 line up at the door and shake hands as the family leaves, I saw the Prophet shaking hands with one man like my teenage kids do. LOL I almost expected to see them bump fists!!
When I got home from school today, Steph was being extra urgent about me getting the car unloaded. I thought she must have to go to work or she wanted the car. As I was bringing in my last load she said "there is an envelope on the table for you." My first thought was okay so the mail came and there is something for me, big deal. Then taking into account her urgency to get the car unloaded, and I had asked her if she was supposed to work, I got more curious about the envelope on the table. Then I feared it was something from the courts, something more about the kids, visitation, my support.....When I looked at the envelop all that was written on the outside was "Karren" and poking out was money but I couldn't tell how much. I thought $20.oo. I was wrong! It was 10 times that-$200.00. No name, just "Karren." The kids were here when the envelope was dropped off but were pre-occupied so they didn't see who it was. Looks like they tried to desguise their handwriting 'cause it's real squiggley, like a sencond grader's. Thank you someone.

Science was better

Thanks for the suggestions Lori. I like the one about selecting a couple of students in the beginning of the lesson to gage student understanding of content so I can adjust accordingly early in the lesson.
I was really nervous about teaching the science lesson on Tuesday because all the students were doing was rubbing rocks together-for an hour!!! But it turned out really well. The students were engaged, excited, and active during the exploration phase of the lesson and attentive during the instruction phase. They had good questions that led perfectly into the next lesson. It was fun! My second science lesson, washing rocks, also went well.
However, my second Reading lesson and first Math lesson didn't go so well. I believe the content of the lessons is too easy, or in the case of the worksheet I typed, too hard. (Even though I took it right out of the teacher's edition) I should have used it as a whole class rhyming activity instead of an individual thing. But it is something I can bring out in a future lesson and do as a whole group activity. (maybe use "movie talk" where students answer as if in a silent movie-silent talking only)
I have either felt confident with the lesson or the classroom management. My goal is to have both lesson and classsroom management come togehter by the time I am done with this practicum. I think once the content of the lesson is up to the student's academic understanding I will half the battle one. I realize student behavior is not strictly based on a good lesson. But I feel that if they are interested they will be less likely to find other things to occupy their mind, hands, mouth, brains....
More to come as the practicum continues.