Counting my blessings

It is now October 2009. Back in January, Paul petitioned the court for "a modification of maintenance" because of a "substantial change in circumstances." In other words, he doesn't think he should pay alimony because he lost the income from his second job.
I finally got the court orders today, "Now, Therefore, it is ordered that petitioner's motion is denied."
Becuase this is the decision of the de Novo hearing, meaning this is the second time we have been before the judge about this, it is final, end of story until I graduate/get a job. Graduation will hopefully be next May. (I won't really be finished until the public schools are finished in June because I will be student teaching.)
Paul's income from his primary job has increased since the divorce, and he is supporting one less child now than at the time of the divorce. When we were getting divorced I was not happy that the income from his second job nor any overtime from his primary job was "not relied upon when determining support and maintenance." Well, the judge used this information to determine that his circumstances haven't changed that much. "At the time of the divorce, the parties cosidered only the petitioner's D.o.J. income in calculating support and that continued to be the basis for revised support since. Paul's financial disclosure statement does not include income from his second job, only income from D.o.J. The settlement agreement which adopted the support and maintenance proposals were Paul's suggestions."
At the time of the final hearing I was not employed and was a full time student. This is still the case. Although Paul argues that I have time to work, the judge agrees with me that I am unavailable to work next semester because I will be student teaching. Paul also argued that I could rent the apartment for more money and not have Patrick living there for free. The judge didn't agree. "The rental income...is reasonable...it is reasonable that the ...parties' son...reside there rent free under the circumstances."
Paul also argued that I could start drawing money out of the retirement fund as of his 50th birthday-today, if I felt I needed money. "No information is provided to the court as to advantages /disadvantages in making withdrawls." Nothing definitive has been provided to the court to show tht the respondent is eligible to receive such benefits at this time and exactly in what amount. The judge believes Paul is speculating.
So, even though I felt it was not right that his overtime and second income was not included in the determination of support, and I had many sleepless nights, and cried many tears over this, it has proven to be a blessing. Thank you Heavenly Father.
Sometime our prayers are not answered in the way we want or at the time we want.

Just venting

"Just because the judge says it, doesn't make it so." Per the divorce, It was ordered that I would not be responsible for the $22000 worth of taxes owed on the money Paul earned in Iraq. The order of the court is that Paul is to pay that and I am not to be held responsible for any of it. When my 2007 tax return was taken/intercepted to pay the taxes "WE" owe on the money he earned in Iraq, I called the IRS to explain that I am not responsible for that lein. I was told that because we filed a joint return for 2006 and we live in a community property state, I am just as responsible as Paul is until it is paid off, and "just because a judge says it, doesn't mean it's so. A divorce court judge can not over rule federal tax laws." The only recorse I have is to take Paul to court for contempt of court to try to get my money back. It will continue like this, any refunds I am eligible for going to pay the taxes, until the debt is paid in full! It will take YEARS for me to pay that off. My blood is boiling.

A seizure recorded

Stuart had another seizure tonight around midnight. He spent the day doing all the normal stuff, watching TV, playing video games and hanging out. He came back from a friends after playing the usual 2 hours of video games, took a shower and then lied down on the front room floor. He knew it was coming because as he went from the bathroom to the front room he said, "here it comes." I remember hearing him say that a couple of times before it got quiet. By the time I got around the corner his body was contorted and he was seizing. It was more of a stiff muscle seizure than the convulsing kind although he did convulse a little. Hmm, maybe not. No, I don't think there was any convulsing this time. His eyes were shut, he was face down with his head resting on his left arm, which was stretched out straight. He lifted his head a few times like a new born baby who is learning to hold it's head up. Then he started the snorting, drooling, heavy-rapid breathing. At this point his eyes were open but he wasn't responsive. I started wiping the sweat from his face and noticed a slight flintch when I touched him with the towel. This response got more and more pronounced the more he came out of this part of the seizure. He tried to get up off the floor in this semi-conscious state but his muscles were so taxed by this point that he fell back down to the floor. Then Stuart tried to get up by rolling over but only got as far as rolling to the side of his stomach before he seemed to loose consciousness again and he'd fall back down. At some point he was able to sit up, but was still only semi-conscious because he wasn't answering any questions, he was glassy eyed, and still snorting with the rapid breathing thing. He bit his tongue this time hard enough to make it bleed. Not a lot of blood but he won't be eating spicy foods for a few days. As he was sitting on the floor in his under ware, I draped a towel over his lap to cover his private parts. He kept picking up the towel and playing with it like he might be trying to cover himself like with a blanket, but the towel wasn't big enough, so he was confused. Maybe thinking, "what is wrong with this blanket?" Finally he started to answer questions, but he was also falling asleep sitting up. So I decided it might be safe to have him go downstairs to bed. NOT. My renter and i got him standing up, and it seemed like Stuart decided to sit in the chair, so we both let go of Stuart to move the headphones on the seat cushion. When we let go Stuart lost balance and control and ended up stumbling to the other side of the room and running into the table where he knocked the pictures to the floor. We tried to catch Stuart before he got to the table but we were too late, all we could do was guide him back to the chair, like you might help a drunk walk. He made it to the chair where he collapsed because his muscles are too weak to support him, and slept for the next 20 minutes still breathing heavy and rapid. Once in a while he would open his eyes, rub his face (it goes kind of numb when he bits his tongue) and go back to sleep.
After he woke up, or came out of it/came to, he decided to go to bed. At this point he was able to walk on his own and made it safely down the stairs. He repeats saying things like it's something important that he shouldn't forget. He has asked a couple of times in the past hour, "what happened?" or "was Andrew here?" (my renter was here to help) His muscles are starting to get very sore now. His tongue is swelling. I can tell because his speech is different, like he is trying to talk through his teeth with his mouth full.
Another six months before he can get his drivers license.
I wasn't as scared this time as I have been in the past. My biggest concern is that point when he is mobile but still only semi-conscious, when he headed for the chair but ended up on the other side of the room running into the table. During this point of the seizures, he has gotten up and headed for the highway, tripped over the curb while he was walking into the church, and almost hit an emergency person who was "2 inches from my face." Oh ya, and walked out of the house and down the block in his underware.
He'll be sore for about a week, be disappointed that he can't get his drivers license yet, and be more vigilant about taking his meds.