Just a couple of random thoughts

The other day I was watching a popular talk show when one of the guests said, talking about taking care of her children, "I've always done it on my own, he was never around to help." She was lamenting the fact that her now ex-husband was never around and she had to care for the children and house by herself but she didn't "get rid" of her husband earlier because she didn't want to be alone. The realization was, she WAS alone; all those years she was still married to her husband she was alone, because he was never there.
For the past couple of years I have been lamenting the fact that I am now all alone. I have no husband anymore. Like the woman on the talk show, my ex-husband was never around either. I took care of the house and the kids all by myself. I have been almost paralyzed since the divorce, trying to understanding how to move forward without a husband; without being married. How do I do my job and his? What is my job? What was his? Well, wake up! I don't have to wonder anymore. I just keep doing what I have always done. I keep taking care of the kids and the house...by myself, like I have always done. The jobs that he did do...he called/paid someone to do. I CAN DO THAT! I think painting the house last weekend helped me come to this understanding too.
Next thought: This morning I went downstairs to find Nathan watching the History channel. (One of his favorite channels) The topic of the show was the history of wheat and bread. The host described all the different kinds of wheat. Where it is grown, and what kinds of products are typically made from the flour ground from the different types of wheat. We learned about Italian pasta, breads, crackers, and pastries. Then all of a sudden, Nathan jumps up off the couch and says, "This makes me want to make some bread. Will you help me." I said I would, and warned him it would take hours and that bread is not an easy thing to make. He assured me he didn't care. He really wanted to make some bread. So we did. He got out my old green cookbook from the 1950's and searched for "yeast bread." We made the first recipe he came to. After kneading the dough for 5 out of the 10 minutes required, he concluded that a baker must be pretty buff because of the muscles used kneading all those loaves of bread in the bakery everyday. As the loaf was rising, he said he likes cooking and his new hobby is making bread. Oh Boy! We started around 10:00 this morning and ate our first slices of Crusty French Bread around 2:00 this afternoon. It was worth the work.

My Plan

Today I started a program with the student's today to help our study hall be a quiet place where the students can work. I know today was the honeymoon, but they were perfect. They received all 10 points for the day. I still need to tweek it. They get too many chances to behave before they get a strike against them. I have talked to a couple of people and they agree that 3 strikes is plenty of chances per day. The fifth graders are old enough to know what is expected of them. They don't need warnings before they get a strike. Heck, they get 3 strikes a day-that's plenty of chances.
At the end of the day I found out, via email, that my professor will be coming to observe me next Tuesday morning. Hope I am ready.

First week is done

I made it through the first week of student teaching with only a couple of bumps and bruises. I was able to go through the schedule today, going from room to room, without looking at the printed schedule. I know the names of most of the students I will work with. And I'm starting to understand what my roll is in their school day. I do feel like the teaching part is not going to be a problem. The university assignments on the other hand are scaring me; progress monitoring, behavior management, assessments, writing an IEP.
Hopefully my co-operating teacher, Kelly, will be feeling better by Monday and will be able to come to school. I am ready for direction and instruction from her.
It was frustrating today, to watch the math lesson; three inches on a four inch line is not three fourths, it's three inches; seven inches on a ten inch line is not seven tenths, it's just seven inches. I don't feel it's my place to contradict the teacher, but I should have said something. The idea was to use the same length unit (a foot) and divide it into different sizes (halves, thirds, eighths) to show how the same size unit can be divided. That's going to have to be re-taught.
I think the worst part of the week was the two occasions when students flat out refused to do what I asked them to do. I will definately have to think about what I am going to do in the future as a student teacher and in my own classroom in these situations. I don't feel comfortable going to the student's regular teacher but that is what I did this week. I think doing that shows the students I'm not really in charge, and indicates to the teacher that I'm not capable of handling it. It undermines me. At this point I don't know what behavior management procedures are being used. I felt really frustrated and at a total loss when the students just plain said no and refused to budge when I gave them directions. From my last semester experience, I learned that it is not good to cottle the students and that is what one teacher has observed about new teachers she works with. I try to think, "how would I handle this situation with my own children." That doesn't always work because I can't yell at the students and I can't pick them up and carry them. Hmm, do I treat the student's with more respect than my own children?
I have concluded that the professors are teaching us how to have the most ideal classroom. What I noticed this week is, classrooms don't work like that. Student's don't sit and pay attention perfectly. Teachers don't teach perfectly, it's ok to not know it all. And classrooms don't run without glitches. I should strive for the ideal classroom but I shouldn't get too discouraged when things don't go perfectly. Even the seasoned teachers I have observed this week, have lost instructional time for one reason or another and students waste time.

meet and greet

Today was my first day as a student teacher and the meet and greet didn't turn out so well. The regular teacher will be out all week. So I met the sub. The regular aide was out today. So I met the sub. So out of the three adults in the room, no one was familiar with the students! But everything turned out just fine. The students didn't test us much and were actually quite helpful. I saw a student from my last placement who transferred to Altoona just after Christmas. I also got to see and say hi to a couple of girls from church who are new to this country. I'm so glad I introduced myself to them Sunday.
From what I saw today, I anticipate behaviors from learned helplessness to oppositional behavior. Most of the students simply avoided the assignments. Especially if reading was involved. I can understand their not wanting to read. I hated reading until sometime after I had graduated from high school. It's still not the first thing I think of to do if I have some spare time, but I do look forward to reading when I hear about a good book.
I've decided I need to get to bed by 9:00 each evening to be at my best in the morning. Hopefully I can get myself to bed by then. Think the kids will go to bed by then too? I'll need to write down a schedule to see where all my responsibilities will fit before I know if I am just dreaming about the full night's sleep.

And it beings

My hope is that I will be able to set aside time at least once a week, but hopefully daily, for reflection on my semester as a student teacher.
Tomorrow is the first of two seminars required for the semester where I will learn about how to end my college career of six years and start my career as an educator. I'll learn about the PDP (professional development plan) which is now used in place of the credits teachers used to take to keep up their certification.
The PDP is a 4-5 year plan where I set a goal or two and then work on it and document that work and any progress until the fourth year. At that point I gather a committee to review my goal and progress reports. I'll have some say about who is on the committee, but I must choose from the predetermined list.
We will be instructed on portfolio 3 and have the opportunity to talk to principals about the interview process and what they look for on a resume. I will also find out who my supervising professor will be and meet with him/her for about 2 hours. There will be time for lunch and a couple of breaks. These seminars take the entire day.
I was talking to Nathan and Stephanie the other day about their past experiences with student teachers. They told me, "don't be scared. It's so obvious and so stupid for them to be scared." But I am scared. Not of the students necessarily, but of the critique from the professors. I hate the grade part of all this schooling. Like the possibility of a better grade is going to make my brain work better!
My first placement will be in a Learning Disabilities classroom with fifth and sixth graders. What are fifth and sixth graders supposed to be learning? I have never been placed in anything above the second grade! Hopefully my experience with my siblings, my children and my church callings with the youth will help out when it comes to disposition of fifth and sixth graders. This placement runs from Tuesday, January 26 until Thursday April1.
My second placement starts Monday April 5 and finishes Wednesday June 9. I will be in a general education classroom with fifth graders. Hopefully my experience with the students in my first placement will help with the experience with students in my second placement.
Two different schools. Two different districts. Less than 10 miles apart.
As of now, I don't really know how much homework (lesson planning) I will have. So I don't know what kind of schedule I will have as far as school, homework, and family time. And really I expect it to continually change as the semester goes along because as I take on more and more classroom responsibilities, I expect to have more and more homework. But I still in-vision being able to come home from "work" and fix dinner, spend time with the kids and go to bed at a decent hour. No more all nighters!
At the moment I am contemplating what to take to school for lunch for the next 16 weeks. I can't afford school lunch and I don't always have left overs that are conducive to a lunch bag. Sandwiches are going to get really boring.